True Confessions

This isn't a meme or anything, but just some stuff. Write your own confessions if you dare...


1. I don't like Mr. Food. When he says, "Ooh, it's so good," I shudder. Sometimes not just inwardly. My creep alarm goes off. I don't care how long he's been doing it and that it's his thing.

2. There is a detour through my neighborhood today due to an accident. My neighborhood, for those of you uninitiated, is a maze. Not a real maze, but people get misplaced in here all the time. So the detour is actually on a street that goes straight through, but no one realizes this and keeps turning. There are a ton of cars going through my little intersection here and they are about 4 blocks lost.

3. We have two cats, Mao and Maddie. Mao is named after the only word she says. She asks the question all the time - Mao? mao? So her name is MAO. Not Mayo. Not Mayos. Three letters. Think Chinese dictator, not condiment. It is not that hard. Mao?

4. Speaking of Mao, I may need to start my own damn million dollar cat fund. A scratch on the leg that got infected led to two weeks of antibiotics and two vet visits, plus she was due for shots anyway, led to let's do a Feline Leukemia test first, led to it's faintly positive, we're going to do another one, led to it's even fainter, led to a lab test that came back negative. ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS in leukemia tests alone, to tell me my cat is healthy. This cat has cost me over $300 in the past month.

5. I have this hangup. I can't bring myself to go to the grocery store in sweatpants. I just refuse. But this leads to the delay of grocery shopping, because man am I comfortable.

6. Prizewinners, you have not been forsaken. I am plotting.

7. Plotting, I tell you.

8. I ate popcorn for lunch because it is the only thing that sounded good.

9. I have to go to the store, but I am still wearing sweatpants. Hmmm.

10.


Nope, that was it.