Once upon a time

Once upon a time, I was a sweater from The Gap that was not loved any more. After spending a bit of time crumpled at the bottom of the closet, my owner took me to a place where someone else could find me. I sat on a hanger, crushed between similarly-colored brethern, until one day this girl found me on half price day and bought me for $2.50.

I'm all one color - the columns are knits and purls, which is why I look a little funny. She didn't mind.

Oh, I had no idea what was about to happen.

First, she got out some scissors, but I didn't know they were for me! She started inspecting me, like I was a piece of meat. Then, snip! She cut me! On my seam!! The next thing I knew, she was unzipping my sides. I was being ripped apart!

She took off my sleeves - my sleeves!! She unraveled the my collar, and cut the shoulders apart. I thought my serged seam there would stop her, but she knows no compassion. She just cut me up. At this point, I fought as hard as I could. You can read about the fallout from that over here - she sounded like a man! Ha!

Well I thought I had her then. Oh, no. She took what was my collar and ....

and....

she dyed me!!

Oh, I thought I was going to die. It was hot, and smelled awful, and then...

I was beautiful!

She broke my front into three parts. One part had an unhappy encounter with a bird:

her: There's a bird... on the clothesline *runs*
him: huh?
her: *picks up cat and rushes towards clothes line* Rwowl! Grrrr! Go away!
bird: chirp.
her: *swings cat towards line* we're gonna getcha!
bird: chirp. *flies away*
him: *pause* did you just use the cat... as a weapon?
her: yes. *pets kitty on the head* so? she likes to be picked up.

The bird stayed a little too long, so to speak, so that section went for a ride in the washing machine. Boy, that was weird. I poofed up a little to protect myself, but I was pretty much ok.

Then yesterday, another part of me got dyed. I knew what to expect this time, so I just relaxed and let it happen. I couldn't wait to see myself in the mirror.

Oh! I love the new me!