Friday, July 21, 2006

The Breaking Point

Every once in a while, it happens.

It's three-hundred-eleventy billion degrees outside, and possibly hotter inside. You've had the same things for dinner every night since the beginning of time. There are cat-hair tumbleweeds flying across the floor. Those really cute shorts you bought last summer no longer cover your expanding ass. In the one thunderstorm of the past month, you left the windows open on the porch. You run out of toilet paper, mustard, miracle whip, butter, flour, strawberry jam, chocolate chips and little wipey things to clean the floor all at the same time. You're so hot, tired, and disgusted that you can't even bring yourself to knit.

I was outside last night for 10 minutes and got 9 mosquito bites.

I missed my Wednesday links post, which is the only blogging I've done lately, and at this point I'm thinking I'll just have a big one next week, like those supersized July/August issues of magazines. Because I'm cool like that.

And really it's not so bad. I have cookbooks, and a vacuum for the cat hair, and a plan for the ass. I'm overly paranoid about the windows, and it was time for a big grocery trip anyway. And it's not like I can't turn on the damn air conditioner. But nothing helps the mosquito bites, because these babies itch! But do you know what helps me scratch the bites I can't quite reach?

Oh, can't you guess???

Knitting needles!

* ~~~ * ~~~ *

No, really, it's been a busy couple of weeks. And yeah, a bunch of things kinda built up there, and kinda sucked a whole lot, and there is some secret non-bloggable information hogging parts of my brain, and I accidentally turned on the news and ohmygodwe'reallgonnagetblowedup, but what can I do? Enact my plans and my vacuum and drag all of you along for the ride. And I hereby lodge a complaint - my face is breaking out. NOT. COOL. Breaking out at my age is just so freakin SNAKES ON A PLANE.

Thanks for putting up with my unannounced and unplanned vacation. I am back.


Kim said...

I'm tired of these motherfucking snakes on my motherfucking plane!

Judy said...

Turn on the AC, kiddo, cool air makes everything better!!

Rhett said...

damn, turn on the air! also, a little anti-itch cream might help the nerves :)

I am sorry that so much drama has been going on - let me know if there's anything that I can do :)

SNAKES ON A PLANE it's time to get the helloutthis office!

Steph said...

Yep, the heat is doing that to us here in the UK too. We invested in an AC unit a couple of years ago and it's a sanity-saver. Sorry you get the mossies though. As for the news - I just don't watch it! :-)

Stephieface said...

My kid was at my inlaws for a night and came home with....are you ready for it?........21 mosquito bites. He's 3! How much unbitten skin does that leave him?!
In the future though I suggest Burt's Bees. They have 2 things which really rock. 1 is all natural insect repellent that smells vaguely of Lemon Pledge and Lemondrops... but definately very lemony.... and it works- keeps bees at bay too. 2 is Res Q ointment in a wee little tin.... You can use it on burns, scrapes, stings, etc.... I used it on my kid's mosquito bites and it worked. They have the two things in a survival kit with poison ivy soap (soap that fixes poison ivy) and a bunch of other stuff. All of this makes Burt an awesome dude in my book... weird Santa Clause beard notwithstanding.

Kristy said...

I think the super craziness is in the air. And last night, when I came home from my parents' house at 10:30 it was 99 degrees. Ugh the horrible weather!!!